Getting There Plus A New Family Member This Fall
Posted by: California Dreamin on: February 3, 2009
- don’t be a slave of plastic!
Finally, after years of not being able to manage our debts due to recession, we are finally getting there. We found a job that somehow sustains us. It’s hard to be a slave of credit cards but if you have kids and you can’t work & only the husband works bec. you need to take care of your toddlers, you really have to make ends meet & sometimes you resort to using credit cards. This year, hopefully we’d be able to bump up our credit score. We used to have perfect credit but bec. of some key derogatories on my accounts, it would be hard to get a good credit score for me. I wasn’t the one who used my cards but my husband, when gas prices were still high and we have an SUV & he had to keep going to our clients but then later, our clients had a hard time paying us too due to recession. We’re blessed to have been able to still find a job in this recession economy and just making our business part time for now. I am a fulltime mother to my 2 toddlers and no matter what they say, it’s hard to juggle career and motherhood. Something will be left behind and I chose to be a mother bec. my kids will only be young once. We’re having a new family member this fall so we’re excited about that too but we dunno yet if it’s a girl or a boy. That would be our last since I am on C-section and 3 kids is the max. I thank God for blessing us with this life and if all else fails here in the US for us, our option is to move to Canada.
A Spanish-Filipina’s Life in Los Angeles
Posted by: California Dreamin on: January 22, 2009
Redondo Beach
I am familiar with a lot of immigrant woes living in a foreign land. I am lucky that I have my husband and children with me in Los Angeles. My 2 children were born here in the United States. Some people here haven’t seen their families for decades now. Whenever I want to unwind, I hit the beach to chill. Southern California is blessed with great beaches like Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach, Laguna Beach, etc. The city of Redondo has the Redondo Beach Seaside Lagoon for toddlers and children. Overlooking the Palos Verdes Peninsula on the left, Redondo is home to beachfront properties and nice ambiance. It is a good place to think about where my life is headed and what I want for my life and my family. I usually look at the happy faces of the beachgoers and commune with God as I look at the sky, thanking Him for all the blessings that have come my way, most especially for our health. Some immigrants here have a hard time coping up and I went through that in my first years here living alone away from my family and all that I’ve gotten used to. But over time, I have learned to love the beautiful city of angels.
I am grateful that I have surrounded myself with friends who care about my well-being. Friends who also were migrants like me. I have a family friend whom I met here, they are a deeply religious family and always visits me and are there for me when I need some help. I also have a friend who is a devout mom to her kids and takes care of other children as well. and also does catering on the side. She is a stay-at-home mom who lives day to day attending to her children & other children’s well-being. These people are the ones I try to emulate because they are God-centered and focused on their family. It is hard enough to raise children in a foreign land but if you’re deeply anchored with God and run with the right crowd, then you are off to a good start. Your depression and homesickness will be eased by people like them who knows their priorities and willing to sacrifice & improvise to keep the family together. Life in a foreign land is simply hard if you have little network of friends but if you have the right support group, then you are bound to succeed. However, I consider myself a native Angeleno now since I’ve been here for almost a decade now so I’ve learned to embrace the changes that have come my way.
Since becoming a mom to 2 boys and being stuck here for 7 years now, I became a fan of cooking shows in Food Network. Rachel Ray’s European travels and eating on a budget and Giada de Laurentiis has showed me that I too, can cook. But I’ve never tried elaborate dishes. LA is a melting pot of cultures and most ethnic dishes are represented here because LA has Thai Town, Filipinotown, Armenian Town, Little Tokyo and the always there wherever you go, Chinatown.
They say you can take the Pinoy out of Manila but you can’t take Manila out of the Pinoy, food preference included. So my friends who cater always make it a point to send me their best dishes. Just yesterday, my friend sent over some crispy pata, lumpiang shanhai and embutido and arrozcaldo.
There’s just so many things to love here in Southern California, most especially in Los Angeles aside from the Mediterranean weather. Next, I will blog about places to go to when you are in the area.
For almost a decade now, since I don’t have TFC, I’ve always relied on the net for chika about the Philippines. Sites that i usually check out are PEP(www.pep.ph), Celebrity Gabfest(Girltalk) Celebrity Blind Items of Female Network for the blind items, and the online version of Philippine Daily Inquirer, Philippine Star & People’s Journal because I also love reading Pete Ampoloquio’s blind items. I wanted to get my daily dose of news & entertainment even if I’m thousands of miles away from Manila. Here in the US, when I want to check out Hollywood news, I visit perezhilton.com & justjared.com. I must say that even when perezhilton wasn’t THE perezhilton yet, I was one of the few who was already an avid reader of his blog when all it contained before was him lashing out about Tom Cruise being gay then he published the very first Brangelina photos & since then, his blog exploded and chaos ensued. He’s now one of the most sought-after celebrity commentators/expert when before he was in awe himself when Hollywood stars give him the time of day, grateful that they chatted w/ him either on a set or an event.
Just now, I’m reading about this blog from GirlTalk about Jenni Epperson then I was led to her multiply site http://mabuhaygirl.multiply.com and I must say, I don’t know Jenni personally but from my one meeting with her for the promo of my CD before i left Manila, she was very professional and very nice. Jenni actually reminds me of my friend Ria who’s taking her doctorate now in Chemistry in Utah coz they look a bit alike.
The thing is, I get truly upset when I read blind items or news about people that I know. Like let’s say Jed Madela being accused gay. He was my bandmate before and he wasn’t famous yet but he really has an amazing voice. We were all just struggling artists but I left the band bec. I was busy w/ college & I wanted to graduate, my band rehearsal schedule was conflicting w/ my time in university. So anyway, Jed was a precious family member of his relatives in Manila because as far as I remember, he’s from Iloilo. So when we rehearse, he’s always accompanied by some of his family members on the rehearsal studio. Being Ilonggo myself, I am familiar with the Ilonggo attitude of being “malambing”.
Then when I read about the success of Yam Laranas’ movie “The Echo” I am so proud of him. I wanted Direk Yam to direct my first ever music video for my record label because my husband and I loved the visuals we saw on Joyce Jimenez’s “Balahibong Pusa” that I personally requested Boss Vincent of Viva to let Yam direct my music video & he agreed. But since I got stuck here in the US, I guess my dreams will just remain dreams for now. But who knows what the future holds.
New Year, New Expectations
Posted by: California Dreamin on: January 21, 2009
New year, new life but with great expectations. I was thinking of going back to work this year bec. I only work freelance/part time here at home since my 2 kids are both in school & I was gonna take my driving test again. Since I’ve been sick the past few days, I’ve been reading blogs of Filipino immigrants all over the world. Canada is our choice if ever we want to migrate again because it’s closer to the US since our kids are US citizens. If they want to come back here in the US one day to study, it would be easier for them if we move to Canada than any other country in the world. Except we’re not yet sure if we can afford to move there right away.
Because my husband wants to wait it out here bec. we’ve already established a life & it’s hard to start all over again to a place where we don’t know anyone but I’m willing to make that sacrifice for the future of our family since we don’t have anyone to come home to in Manila. All his siblings are already married and I’m an only child.
I can’t believe my eldest will be 4 this year. And my youngest will be 2 this February. How time flies. I really wanna go on a short vacation either in San Francisco or Vegas when I feel better. I hate travelling when I’m sick. I’m posting here a photo of my kids last Christmas. My eldest has that face bec. he wants to open the gift already while my youngest was non-chalant. He’s still too young to know he had a gift from Santa. I gave them storybooks bec. I want them to love reading while they’re still young. My youngest son’s hair is getting blonder/lighter. He got it from his Spanish grandfather from Spain since my real dad is pure Spanish.
gifts from mom
US Economy and Recession-Proof Jobs
Posted by: California Dreamin on: September 22, 2008
For the longest time, my husband and I have a small IT business here in Los Angeles. But since it has been recession, we were forced to take on jobs from other IT companies just to stay afloat. We are lucky to be in a profession that is recession-proof. Another recession-proof profession is nursing and if only I have the time, I would study nursing but right now, my time is tied up with my boys.
I still wanna explore my creative side but we are just on a tight schedule right now. I can only keep thanking God for somehow pulling us through even during our difficult moments in our personal & profesisonal lives. My only prayer is for Him to keep our family safe and intact no matter what happens in the world around us. We can very well live way below our means and I’m teaching my children to learn it while they are still young. We don’t spoil our children. We believe that through hardwork they will ultimately be rewarded with skills that would last them a lifetime, long after we’re gone, just like how my husband’s parents and my parents taught me to be independent at an early age. Although it would break my heart to see my boys one day live their own lives, I will be happy too knowing they can very well take care of themselves.
I would like to read books on how to develop and raise my boys and help them become better men. I’d be very happy to see my children become successful in their own lives and chosen profession for themselves. And I will be there by their side if they need me. It’s really hard to be a mom. There are times when I just want them to be kids forever. I don’t know about college and if I’d be ready to let them go off on their own by then.
Michael Phelps SNL, Last Christmas by Cascada, Hurricane Ike & Smooth Jazz
Posted by: California Dreamin on: September 14, 2008
As I occasionally glanced on the telly to catch Michael Phelps on his Saturday Night Live guesting, I am also busy multitasking – reading Hurricane Ike updates on cnn.com, updating my SEO skills for my clients as well as listening to smooth jazz. I’ve already forgotten this type of music since the last time I was into this was when I was in high school with my hotel band & everytime I wanted a break from our set because I am the singer, my bandmate/sax guy would start playing Chuck Mangione’s Feels So Good which would allow me a 3 to 5 minute break to just sit down & drink something & watch my band perform. I won’t even be familiar with these new songs out there if not for youtube. So many smooth jazz choices. But my favorite would still be classics by Kenny G or some pieces done by Dave Koz. Others say that when you start to like jazz as your type of music, then you are starting to get old.
But am I really old at 31? As the poem I wrote before says, my life has ended before it’s even begun; I feel like I’ve seen a thousand setting suns. I believe though that age ain’t nothing but a number. A person can be 50 but still feel young at heart. I consider myself an old soul in a young woman’s body. And that is fine with me. Because with age comes wisdom. I am not really looking for a fleeting type of fun nowadays but rather, something that enriches the soul and fills my heart with real bliss not a fleeting fancy. I’ve come to a point in my life where I tell myself all the time that life is short so I should think a billion times before I start making big decisions because now, it doesn’t only affect me but also my whole family – my husband & my children. I am so lucky; no – so blessed, to have found a loving & caring husband. I couldn’t ask God for anything more except good health for all of us on the years to come. I have learned to be content with what I have and I’ve stopped chasing for dreams that might never materialize. Or I just dream about something within reach. Or maybe keep striving for the dream but not to take it personally when rejection comes along with the reaching for that dream. Just minding the rejection in reaching those dreams just used to drain my energy so much. Now, I don’t feel that way at all because as my other friend said, my music shouldn’t be the end-all & be-all of my life. And I have made that move by starting a family so I am now happily enjoying the consequences of my decision. And am I ever so happy that I was brought into this different calling of motherhood. In a million years, I wouldn’t have guessed that I’d be happy as a mother. I didn’t even see myself married at 35 coz I thought I was gonna be busy with my music career. But look at me now, a mother of 2 toddlers at 31. Sometimes, fate surprises me. You are led to a path that is so different from what you’d imagined yourself to be. I can’t help but smile when I think about myself and motherhood. I am not a perfect mom but I am doing my best to be the mother that nurtures and present in my children’s lives.
And since a month ago, I told myself, from now on, I will not entertain negative thoughts. It has made a huge difference in my way of life eversince! Imagine, not giving any weight at all to these negative things or just people who do nothing but dump their problems on you. I have a life to live and I have to keep my positivity for the sake of my boys because when they’re back from school in the afternoons. I have to be upbeat for them when bonding time comes because soon they will be off to their respective lives once they become teens.
I’m glad I have friends that keep me motivated to face each new day with glee. Since it’s the “ber” month, or months ending in -ber leading to the Christmas month(December), as most Filipinos start their Yuletide preparation, I found this great new version of Last Christmas sung by Cascada. Watch it and enjoy by clicking the link below because embedding is disabled for this vid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds6oTHYmqRc
I love Christmas. I can only think about happy memories of my childhood during Christmas. It’s been 21 years since my mother died. But she is still in my heart. I love you Mama. Now it’s my turn to make wonderful childhood memories for my children every yuletide season.
A Breath of Fresh Air in Hollywood
Posted by: California Dreamin on: August 9, 2008
-
- my kids building a sandcastle
-
- children’s man-made beach
-
- beach beauty
-
- soulsearching
2001 – signed with VIVA Records as a recording artist, did some radio tours & invited to the Grammy awards & got my US tourist visa with annotation “attending the Grammy awards”
2002 – Feb 2002, at age 24, i arrived in LA during winter!!! 1st week of Feb, while i was sightseeing, i couldn’t breath & went to the hospital & the xray tech told me my left lung is collapsed(spontaneous pneumothorax). i was so scared. the doctor put a portable chest tube on my left chest. i was discharged but night time came & i still couldn’t breath. i went back to the hospital that night & was confined. waited for the specialist the next day & that’s when they intubated me with a larger tube connected to the pleurovac machine to re-inflate my lungs. i stayed in the hospital for almost 3 weeks, strapped to my bed due to the pleurovac machine. sadly, i missed the Grammies. i came here w/ my gown, shoes, etc. hoping for wonderful memories of my one month vacation & to de-stress. the doctor told me that due to my medical condition, i should stay for a year bec. spontaneous pneumothorax patients cannot ride an airplane.
June 2002 – i rented an apartment with what little money i had left. started looking for a job to petition me for a work visa because i didn’t want to be an illegal. i have a degree in Mass Communications and i self-studied web design while in college. i found a staffing agency & paid their required $500 to send me to job interviews with companies that might petition for a work visa. nothing came out of it. then someone referred me to a Fil-Am newspaper who said will petition my work visa. i went for an interview & was told that they only petition if i work on commission til i get my visa. i was to work as account executive. i saw other Filipinos there so i thought it was legit. i knew nothing about immigration law then. i paid almost $5,000 to their preferred immigration firm of Korenberg, Abramowitz & Feldun and was told my petition for work visa would come through around 3 months. the Fil-Am newspaper employer made me work right away while the petition is pending. i didn’t know you’re not supposed to work while you don’t have your work visa yet. then, the petition didn’t come out after 2 years! so for 2 years, the employer made me work for free, on commission basis, as account executive gathering adverts for the newspaper & required us to be at the office all the time without getting paid at all! it was so hard bec. they never provided bus pass or food allowance, knowing we are just new immigrants. i paid my rent with the little savings i had until it was all gone. i went into deep depression since my life was in limbo until my visa comes out & i saw the real colors of my other officemates who were jealous & wanted me out of the company.
2003 – my employer threatened to pull out my visa & in the end, when he sold the company, the new owners(also Fil-Am) said they will fire me out because I am demanding so much while the other workers who are still waiting for their visas agreed to work for free til they get their greencards which could last for 5 years until u get your greencard. these people are struggling to get by. i cannot allow myself to be abused via involuntary servitude with this company anymore. they threatened me and already stepped on me many times knowing my visa depended on their company. in exchange for the visa and greencard, they wanted free manual labor. i had enough of their threats when they said my petition will be revoked. so i called the FBI, DOL & ICE & reported their abuse.
June 2003 – got married with my Pinoy bf who was into IT & aquaculture.
late 2003 – i got calls from different US government agencies. it turns out, the immigration law firm which has been in this business for over a decade is being investigated already for mass immigration fraud & violations of immigration law. i was interviewed by the FBI. ICE said I will be one of the federal witnesses & i agreed. i was given a work permit & social security number & driver’s license by the US government. i was able to finally live legit here in the US but still no visa.
2004 – got pregnant & started our own IT firm. my husband got his L-1 visa by opening a sister company of his Philippine company here in the US. sued my employer in Labor Court and i won a huge settlement(labor lawyer’s fees contingent to my settlement amount so i only got half of the settlement amount) for almost 2 years of fulltime unpaid work. we could’ve gone to court longer with bigger settlement win but i just wanted it to be over because i was pregnant. the stress of the regular meetings and arbitration out of court was starting to take its toll on me. i was finally glad it was over when my employer decided to settle.
2005 – gave birth to my son
2006 – got pregnant again but husband’s L1 visa renewal denied
2007 – gave birth to my 2nd son
2008 – still waiting for word on what will happen to me since the case is now over & the immigration lawyers have been disbarred. those who got their greencards via fraud will be revoked.
now, i’m just gonna let my new immigration lawyer work my case out for me. by law, i qualify for an S visa as a federal witness. we’re also waiting for an amnesty. whatever comes first is fine with me. there is also the threat of deportation right now, but our focus are on our health & our children. they now go to school and i am grateful that they are thriving and healthy and happy.
i could’ve chosen to be the victim & wallow in self-pity but i emerged the victor. i never wavered in my faith in God though in my first year here after what my employer did to me, i almost lost my mind, i was so stressed out because i lost all my lifesavings. i packed my bags & was ready to go until the US government came to the rescue. thank God i wasn’t like the others who just left quietly, battered & bruised by their sad immigrant experience in America. i somehow was able to redeem my self-esteem and came out floating amidst the storm that came through in my life, knowing that those who duped me were my fellow Filipinos here in the United States.
i will still hold on for the sake of my boys. i can’t make up for the lost time and the lost opportunities for myself. but i can only hope & pray for a better America. prior to this case of the US vs. Philip Abramowitz, the US has been lenient on visas. but now, immigration officials thoroughly scrutinizes every application and matches what the employees tax returns to their declared per hour salary to their immigration application. now there’s little chance for fraud. and enforcement is swift and immigration laws are strictly enforced.
those who wanna migrate must think a thousand times before leaving their lives behind because it’s not easy to start life all over again in a foreign land & we don’t know what the future holds. but if you migrate legally, to countries that are open to immigration, like New Zealand, Canada and London via points system, then there’s less chance that you will be abused by unscrupulous immigration lawyers and employers.
looking back, i don’t regret about everything that has happened to me. if i continued my music career, maybe i would be successful or maybe not. who’s to know? one thing’s for sure – it’s a very demanding & stressful profession. i am happy now being here in the US taking care of my 2 boys being a hands-on mom. they are living a happy & quiet life with both parents present in their lives to nurture them and love them. and here in the US, they can be anything they want to be. even if we are not rich here, they can still pursue medicine and become doctors one day because of student loans or college grants. i guess God has a different plan for me than what I wanted for myself. just looking at my 2 boys eases all the pain, heartache & sorrow that i’ve experienced during the past 10 years of my life. and i am blessed that my husband & i were able to quickly shift to a new profession, we are now working as IT professionals here in the US which is far from what we were doing when we were still in the Philippines, him being into aquaculture, breeding tilapias in his tilapia farm, while i was a recording artist.
Life indeed is full of surprises.
Flickr Photos
|
California Dreamin
Recent Comments